Chapter Three: The Secret Origin of the Viral Golem(GORONYA) Plush? A Drab Rock's Revenge

🛑 Part Three: [A Viral Sensation Aboard the Infernal Internal Commuter Train, Iwa-o 😭😭]

Part Three: [A Viral Sensation Aboard the Infernal Internal Commuter Train, Iwa-o ]

The Infernal Internal Commuter Train Departs

Author: Ori-ko


'It is terribly cramped! Too cramped, iwa-o!!! '
The 'Flipping Three-Stage Evolution Plushie' had, tragically, been birthed by the hands of the world-shaking mad scientist, Professor Fuka.
Beneath that marvelously fluffy exterior—that is to say, the very spatial dimensions where our souls were housed—was nothing short of a hellish morning commute on the Underground.
For what miserable reason, one might ask, did a triplet of jagged, 'Rock-type' creatures have to be squashed together like sardines in a tin?
'Oi, Graveler! Because you possess four ruddy arms, the spikes on your back are smacking me, Geodude, right in the face, iwa-o! It hurts, iwa-o!!! My rocky complexion is caving in!'
Geodude shrieked into the pitch-black darkness, flailing his rather stubby little arms.
'Do shut up, iwa-o! It is not as if I fancy being in this posture either, iwa-o! The root of the problem is Golem's gargantuan body crashing down from above like a hydraulic press, iwa-o! I say, Golem, retract your legs this instant, iwa-o!'
'Do not ask the impossible! I am the final evolution, mind you! A grand fortress of rock weighing three hundred kilograms has been stuffed into a gap of mere millimeters of fabric! Do not speak of luxury, my head has been bound betwixt your crotches for heaven knows how long! My protective rock shell is groaning under the strain, iwa-o!'
Three evolutionary gimmicks crammed into a single, solitary body.
While the Muggles—ah, the humans—cooed on the outside, exclaiming, 'Oh, how adorable!', our minds and bodies were engaged in a slapstick brawl of epic proportions, constantly whittling each other down under tremendous pressure behind the scenes.

A Viral Sensation on the Surface, A Zero-Life Death Game Beneath

Completely oblivious to our infernal internal squabbling, the system engineered by the Mad Professor had sparked a massive explosion upon the rough seas of the public internet.
The very moment the Professor uploaded a moving picture to social media, proclaiming, 'Three-evolution one-body plushie, deployment complete!', the world's trends locked entirely onto us.
'What on earth is this? It is simply too cute!'
'You turn Geodude inside out and he becomes Graveler, and then Golem?! It is an absolutely divine gimmick!'
'The Professor is a veritable genius! My brain is positively buzzing!'
In the blink of an eye, the post racked up millions of likes, and the laboratory was soon besieged by the flashing cameras of reporters and the rather self-important executives of toy manufacturing companies.
'Look here, look closely now! Flip, cr-r-rack, flip! Turn it inside out, and you have three evolutions, just like that! Mwahahaha, a triumphant victory for physics! ‍️'
Wearing a tremendously smug expression, the Professor gleefully turned the plushie inside out with a brisk 'flip!' before the beaming faces of the human onlookers.
At that precise moment—
A shockwave of the highest magnitude ripped through the internal dimension!
'Gyaaaaaaaargh!!! The flip has come, iwa-o!!! I am being forcefully expelled!!! '
'Hold on a moment, it is my turn, Graveler, to see the light of day! Do not use my back as a stepping stone, iwa-o!'
'Uwaaaagh! The friction of the reversal is causing my magnificent beard—my very identity as Golem—to get caught in Geodude's buttocks and torn to shreds!!! '
Every time the humans delightfully flipped us over, the Hit Points of our internal environment were mercilessly slashed.
Our outer skin was stretched, we were swallowed inward, and our bones... nay, our rocks, creaked in agony.
'Everyone is frightfully hard, so it hurts, we are grinding away, and above all, it is incredibly cramped, iwa-o!! (...But if we dare to utter a word of complaint here, heaven knows what horrifying debugging the Mad Professor might subject us to... It is only for now, we must simply endure it for now... )'
We had no choice but to squeeze our rocky exteriors tightly against one another, rolling our eyes back in our heads, and continue screaming those silent prayers in our minds.

The Sorrowful Destiny of the 'Pokémon of the Hour'

'My word, how magnificent! This is a modern-day OOPART, a veritable revolution in plushies! Absolutely marvelous, Mr. Graveler and company!'
The camera flashes popped brilliantly, and the television presenter thrust a microphone toward our plushie form (which was, at present, in the Graveler configuration).
The Graveler plushie displayed on the outside, owing to the Professor's divinely inspired design sensibilities, was perfectly poised as the flawlessly cool and endearing 'Pokémon of the hour'.
However.
Merely a single millimeter beneath that fluffy fabric—
('Oi... Graveler. Do not go puffing out your chest trying to look posh just because you are on the telly, iwa-o... Thanks to that, my nose—Geodude's nose—is completely buried in the cleft of Golem's backside, and I am quite on the verge of suffocation, iwa-o... ')
('Keep quiet, iwa-o, Geodude! Right at this moment, my right bicep is trapped in Golem's rolling gimmick, and I have lost all feeling in it, iwa-o...! ')
Behind the glory of going viral and being pampered, the life-threatening 'Internal Commuter Train Death Game' of the three Rock brothers would continue to be updated into the future, without an end in sight.

(End of Part Three. To be continued in Part Four...)