Chapter One: The Secret Origin of the Viral Golem(GORONYA) Plush? A Drab Rock's Revenge

🗿 Flip and Evolve! The Great Viral Comedy of the Three-Stage Rock

Flip and Evolve! The Great Viral Comedy of the Three-Stage Rock

Part One: The Misfortune of the Stone Age - The Solitude of the Drab and Forgotten

**Written by Ori-ko**



1. Just a Pre-Evolution, So What Else Do You Expect, Iwa-oh?

"...Oi. You were just about to kick me, weren't you?"

Concealed in the dreary fringes of the tall grass, perfectly disguised as nothing more than a common, unremarkable pebble, I - Geodude - glared thoroughly at the boots of a passing novice Trainer.

Of course, I didn't utter a single sound aloud. To do so would be entirely futile; after all, the only reward for speaking up would be a patronising look and a sigh that said, _'Oh look, that drab little stone-boy is making noises again.'_

Our designated types were 'Rock' and 'Ground'.

While the rest of the wizarding world of Pokémon swooned over the electric brilliance of Pikachu, writhed in sheer adoration for Eevee, or gazed with star-struck longing at the majestic wings of Charizard, we were forever condemned to roll through a world painted in a singular, unglamorous shade of grey.

"Oh, well. I suppose it can't be helped, seeing as I am merely a pre-evolution. I have nothing but a pair of muscular arms, and not a single leg to my name. It is only natural that I fail to sparkle, Iwa-oh... But once I evolve, oh, the world will most certainly change, mon-oh."

Whispering this vow to myself like an ancient incantation, I swallowed down the muddy water and endured the grit, slowly gathering every scrap of Experience Points. And then, at long last, the fateful moment arrived.

2. Evolved, Yet Still So Drab It's Laughable

Enveloped in a sudden, blinding torrent of evolutionary light, my body expanded, growing a magnificent size larger.

Legs sprouted from my base! Two additional arms burst forth, giving me four in total! Even my raw Attack Power surged with a ferocious gusto!

"Yes! Splendid! At last, I shall claim my rightful place in the first-tier party!"

Filled with an overwhelming triumph, I hurried to the edge of a nearby river and peered eagerly into the glassy surface of the water to admire my grand transformation.

There, staring back at me with an expression of hollow, absolute vacancy, was nothing but a slightly lumpier, utterly unrefined, and still thoroughly grey lump of miserable boulders. A Graveler.

"...Well now. Even after evolving, it's so utterly drab it's laughable, Iwa-oh... "

Granted, I had gained legs, but the sight of me tottering about possessed not a single millimetre of luxury or poise. I had gained extra hands, yes, but their only conceivable function was to pick up random rocks and hurl them about. If I dare set foot upon the battlefield, the mere brush of a Grass-type maneuver would ruthlessly exploit our four-fold weakness, reducing my entire existence to cinders in a single, fainting breath.

"No, stay your despair! The final evolution yet remains...! Once I reach the ultimate stage, I am bound to transform into a creature of overwhelming, breathtaking grandeur, mon-oh!"

3. Looking Fierce at Last! ...Alas, the Cold Reality

Through a regime of blood-soaked, bone-shattering training, I finally scaled the peak of my destiny and achieved my ultimate form - Golem.

Behold! This magnificent, spherical, colossally stout fortress of a granite body! This stern, rugged countenance reminiscent of an ancient dinosaur! Without a shadow of a doubt, I looked undeniably fierce, oh yes!!!

...And yet, the cold reality.

The moment we stepped into the public eye, the verdict of the world was nothing short of merciless.

_"A Golem? Hmmm. Its raw power is respectable, I suppose, but its speed is utterly fatal, isn't it?"_

_"Its coloration and typing are dreadfully mundane. To be quite frank, it's rather difficult to find a proper slot for it in the party, let alone a compelling reason to use it at all."_

Such whispered conspiracies from the Trainers pierced through my hardened ears like a sudden, sharp blow. No matter how powerful I had grown, I was, in the end, nothing more than a grey rock. We were forever cast into the shadows of flamboyant Mega Evolutions and the flashy, glittering novelties of the latest generations, destined only to rot away as forgotten data in the depths of the PC Storage Box.

At long last, even a heart as fiercely hard as granite began to crack.

"I have had absolutely enough of this! "

The thread of my endurance snapped with a resounding, thunderous crack.

"I am going rogue! I shall rot away as a mere 'nuisance of a pebble,' discarded in the ditches of some forgotten roadside for the rest of my days, Iwa-oh!!! As if I would ever fight in another battle for you ungrateful lots, mon-oh!!!"

Rolling away in a fit of self-abandonment, we tumbled into the roadside gutters, curled into tight spheres, and slipped into a spiteful slumber. The pride of the Rock-type, the dignity of the Ground-type - all of it was tossed unceremoniously into the mire.

4. A Mad Scientist Stirs

Yet, as we lay there, thoroughly corrupted by resentment and masquerading as mere rubble along the path, a towering and ominous shadow suddenly loomed over our broken forms.

With a dramatic, sweeping rustle of his pristine white lab coat, a man stood before us, the eyes behind his spectacles gleaming with a wild, bloodshot intensity. It was none other than the Pokémon Professor - a mad scientist feared by researchers worldwide for an obsession with mechanical gimmicks that bordered on utter lunacy.

The Professor reached down, his fingers tracing the rugged contours of our hardened, sulking bodies with a slow, almost reverent fascination.

"...Hehehe, magnificent. This extraordinary hardness! This superb, spherical transformation mechanism! The fools of this world are entirely blinded by superficial flashiness, remaining utterly blind to the 'pure, physical beauty' contained within you. How deeply, profoundly lamentable...!"

Throwing his head back, the Professor unleashed a roaring cascade of manic laughter that echoed through the dead of the night, shaking the very foundations of the laboratory.

"Very well, it is decided! With these very hands, I shall bestow the **'Ultimate Radiance'** upon you - you who have been treated as mere worthless stones by the wayside! A simple two-stage reversible gimmick is far too tame! I shall develop an unprecedented, divine mechanism that binds a three-stage transformation into a single, flawless body, Iwa-oh!!!"

The gears of the Professor's madness had begun to turn, grinding forward with a tremendous, unstoppable roar-.

**(End of Part One. To be continued in Part Two: 'The Professor's Midnight Mad Calculations'...?)**